See the File:Johann and Pablo 1.pdf for the original version.

Johann and Pablo are escaping from the Clown King for taking Math classes.

J: Quick! Jump in the car!

P: What? You mean they saw you?

J: Pause Yes. Okay they saw me. I forgot the disguise

taking out Groucho Marx glasses .

P: You forgot! Of course! You always for get! The king never even would have found out about the –

J: I know, Pablo! And I apologized, didn’t I? I made you pie.

P: I appreciate that.

digging a piece out of his collar, left from when J threw it at his face, as is proper And its still very good. Johann, I’m sorry I yelled. I’m just…

J: Yes?

P: I just want to tell you…


P: Ahh! Get in the car!

They jump into a yellow punch buggy with polka dots as men in dark glasses, floppy wigs, black suits and giant clown shoes run in from behind. They start to close in until Johann starts making car noises. He and Pablo lift the car like a skirt and speed off.

Clowns in Black: They got away.

The King enters. He is a tiny, fluffy marionette held by an actor entirely in black

King: Next time they shall not be so lucky. You will go after them. And when you catch them, show no mercy.

CIB: Yes, your hilarity.

King: Homage?

CIB start kicking each other in the pants and other slapstick gag-cliches. Curtain.

Curtain rises on an empty stage.

J: They’re after us!

P: Faster, Johann, faster!

They drive across the stage, car-as-skirt. A few CIB agents after them. What follows is a comic chase scene with gags like the following:

::CIB and the car chase each other in and out of exits in impossible combinations

::-The car passes through with a variety of occupants, including CIB personnel and animals.

::-Another famous character gets sucked into the chase. Macbeth? Romeo and Juliet? Rosencrantz and Guildenstern?

::-Gags with no logical place in the plot appear because they are so close in nature to the kind of zany cliché the chase scene is. Once this chase exists onstage, it isn’t really so strange to see:

::-A long ladder carried across with the same person on each end.

::-A CIB person performing a song and dance, only to be cut off by a cane around the neck from offstage

Finally with dramatic swelling music J and P, both in the car now, run slowly and in exaggerated manner to downstage center./ As they drive in place, CIB agents move into position running/driving invisible cars behind them. Everyone is grimly aware of the danger and import of the situation.

J: They are still behind us Pablo.

P: We must go faster!

J and P mime speeding up and the CIB mime dropping back a bit, then increasing their own speed and coming in close again.

J: Its no use! We can’t shake them.

P: There’s nothing for it. Hide!

Pause. J and P hide below the dash. The CIB approach.

P: Here they come, Johann.

J: This is it Pablo. Its been good, you.

P: We’ll be put away.

J: They’ll take our noses.

P: And worse.

J: What could be worse?

CIB: Step out of the vehicle. They step out. Pause Step out of the vehicle.

P: We are out.

CIB: Everyone else step out of the vehicle.

P: There is only us.


CIB: Really?

P: Really. Who else should be in the car?

CIB: I don’t know. Its just that it’s a clown car. There ought be more. Its not right to have an clown car with only two in it. It’s unnatural. You people make me sick. Come with us.

CIB takes their noses, and J and P, downcast, are led offstage.

Pablo slowly pokes his head above the dash of the car. Still hidden below the dash

J: Are they gone?

P: Yep. Come on out old friend.

Johann emerges with an air pump in his hand.

J: That was close, ami.

P: It was. But you…

J: Thanks. It was nothing. With just a few well twisted balloons, the sky is really the limit.

P: Amen.

J and P pick up the car and drive off into the sunset.

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